


lights you up like dynamite

by charjace



Series: Friend's Don't [1]
Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti)
Genre: Implied Suicide Attempt, M/M, Richie Tozier is a Little Shit, implied suicidal thoughts, references to scars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:00:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23410582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charjace/pseuds/charjace
Summary: eddie's realising he's fallen for stan, that he loves him with his whole heart
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Stanley Uris
Series: Friend's Don't [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1844314
Kudos: 15





	lights you up like dynamite

**Author's Note:**

> it's me, once again with a 'friend's don't' by maddie and tae based fanfic

Rain was falling on the window as he looked out of it, a small smile on his face as he watched Bev laugh at a joke that Richie must have spoken as she climbs into the car. Bill and Mike weren’t far behind the other two, climbing into their own car. It had been a nice game night that they had, even if they were missing Patty and Ben, who were both sick and didn’t want to spread it to everyone else. Eddie was happily watching his friends drive away with Richie waving to them in the rain, his heart full and he wants to go to bed – he really does, but he didn’t want to wake up Stan who had his head on Eddie’s shoulder. 

Stan had had a busy day, but still made it to their game night – even if he ended up falling asleep on Eddie’s shoulder half way through, rooting Eddie to his spot near the window. It’s quiet in the home now, and he knows it’s going to be interrupted in a few moments because he watches as Richie walks himself back up the driveway.

When Richie walks in, he notices how Eddie and Stan haven’t move – he raises an eyebrow slightly, before clapping his hands together, making a big loud noise that caused Stan to jump a bit and Eddie to glare at Richie.

“What?” Stan mumbles, looking around the room and taking in that everyone else has gone home. “Where is everyone?”

“They’ve gone home. You fell asleep  Stanny ,” Richie answers, going to pick up the cups that were sitting on the table to bring them into the kitchen, cleaning them will be a morning job. At least, that is what Richie tells himself as he walks into the kitchen.

“Oh, I should go then,” Stan says as he stands up, and Eddie misses the closeness he had, but he doesn’t know why. He can’t put a finger on it as he feels a bit sad as he watches Stan walk over to his keys.

“Stan, you can stay here tonight,” Eddie offers up, with a smile upon his lips, “Don’t want you falling asleep at the wheel, just, stay here the night and you can go home when you’re fully rested. Yeah?”

Eddie’s heart skips in his chest as he watches the soft smile that spread across Stan’s lips, “Yeah. Good idea.”

Stan walks his way to Eddie’s room as Richie walks back into the living room, he bumps his elbow into Eddie’s arm, causing the shorter to look at the other, who just returned the look with a smile that is saying something  _ teasing _ on them, but he can’t figure it out. So, Eddie just flips Richie off, leaving him to take the rest of the things that needed to be put away by himself as he went to help Stan, and climbing into bed himself.

Sharing a bed was nothing new for them, or any of the Losers. They always shared beds when they were younger, and never thought anything wrong with doing it now that they’re adults. They maybe in their late twenties, but they still do it. By the time Eddie was ready for bed himself, Stan was halfway to sleep on the bed and the sight caused Eddie’s heart to race in his chest. But, it’s not the first time he’s notices this about himself when it concerns the other. It’s not new, but he also doesn’t know what it is. Flicking off the light switch, he goes and takes his spot on the bed, smiling to himself as Stan moves to cuddle into him and he fell asleep.

Three in the morning and he was awoken by his phone going off, sighing he picks up his phone from his nightstand, ready to go off at whoever it was calling him at this ungodly hour, but he does the opposite when he sees Stan’s name flashing across his screen. Answering with a soft, “Hello.”

“I didn’t wake  you did I?” Stan’s voice comes through from the other end, and Eddie sits himself up in his bed.

“No,” It was a lie, but he doesn’t care. It’s Stan, he doesn’t mind. “Is something up?”

“I just... I couldn’t sleep,” The answer comes and Eddie wishes he could be there next to Stan. “I didn’t know what else to do, so I called you. Are you sure you weren’t asleep?”

“I’m sure,” If his heart did a flip in his chest when he heard Stan say that when he couldn’t sleep, he wanted to talk to him. Maybe he shouldn’t read too much into it, but his heart wants too so badly. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Some part of Eddie feels like that was a lie, that there was more to this phone call – but, he can’t pinpoint anything, especially when it comes to Stan and it’s starting to grow a little  frustrating . “I just want to talk, unless you want to sleep or have something to do.”

“No, you’re all good, I’m here for you,” Eddie says in reply, and they talked for a good half an hour before he thinks Stan fell asleep on the other end, and Eddie hung up the call, and flicking a quick text to Stan before he too fell asleep again.

Richie had just said some  _ dumb _ joke that got all of the Losers to laugh, he was leaning himself against Stan as he laughed, feeling the way Stan’s shoulders moved as he laughed. The night was getting more hectic as the minutes and drinks went by. The smallest of things setting one person off in a giggling fit, only to set the others off until they decided to leave. 

The night air was just warm enough for them to be sitting in the parking lot of the bar they had all just left. They were in the back of Mike’s pick up  ( that he will be picking up in the morning ). Eddie was now sitting opposite Stan now, and  _ god _ how does Stan look so good in the night light. Cheeks red from the alcohol he’s drunken, and smile so carefree that Eddie just wants to take a picture and hold it forever.

Eddie wants to know what kissing Stan is like, he wants to know how it feels to have Stan to himself on a level that the other Losers don’t get. He -, Eddie jerks himself out of his thoughts, his cheeks flooding a deep red, he just knows they are because he thinks he’s figured it out and he doesn’t know what to do with that now. Stan throws him a worried look, and Eddie just looks away. Soon, everyone was leaving. Richie left with  Ben, arms slung around each other to hold each other up. Bev, Patty, Bill and Mike decided to share a ride, leaving Stan and Eddie as they climbed out, waiting for Stan’s ride to arrive.

It’s quiet between them for a while, and Eddie wants to fill it but doesn’t know how. Stan’s quiet too, and Eddie just wants to let his fingers go over and link in with Stan’s, just to hold his hand in his. “Stan I-,”

He was interrupted by a loud car horn, causing Eddie to jump, “What was that Eddie?”

“Nothing, your ride is here,” Eddie says, pointing towards the car, “Get home safe.”

“You too.”

Eddie gives a nod of his head as Stan gets into the car, waving as Stan goes and he walks himself home, thankful it wasn’t that far.

Getting that haunting call those days ago, it still hounds his head and he doesn’t know what he needs to do, what he  _ should _ do. The call was scary thing he received, Richie’s voice the most broken he’s ever heard it. Richie couldn’t even cover up with humour, that was how bad it was. The words his friend spoke, rattle in his mind as he sits on the opposite end of the bed, legs crossed with Stan on facing him.

Stan looked pale in the room, Patty had not long ago left because she needed to get back to work, but Eddie didn’t. It’s the first time since the call that he’d been alone with Stan now, and he doesn’t know what to say, or do without the others to guide him. It’s weird,  _ needing _ guidance, needing someone else to show him the way when he is the one that usually knows the way. He’s looking down at his hands, playing with the ring that he shares with all the Losers.

“Eddie?” Stan’s voice breaks the silence that they had fallen into, he wants to look up but he’s  _ scared _ . “Can you look at me?”

A few quiet moments, and Eddie does end up looking up and there are tears in his eyes as he looks at Stan. Stan shuffles himself closer to Eddie, their knees almost touching now as Stan reaches a hand up to Eddie’s face. “I’m scared Stan,” Eddie says, voice broken as the words come out and tears fall down his cheek. When Stan’s hand connects with his cheek a sob leaves him. “I... I don’t know how I could do this without you. Live in a world without you,” Heart breaking as he lays himself out in the open for Stan to see, the closest thing he’ll get saying I love you to Stan, in the way he means it deep down. “My futures isn’t much of one, if you’re not there, and I’m scared to lose you.”

“I’m s-,” Eddie shakes his head, stopping Stan from finishing that sentence. Looking Stan in the eyes, daring him to finish that sentence. Begging Stan not to tell him he’s sorry, not right now. “Eddie, I made you feel like this, I want to apologise for it. I didn’t mean to hurt you, or any of you guys like this. I just, I-”

“Couldn’t stand it. The feeling inside, I understand,” Eddie fills in, and Stan flashes him a weak smile. Not that Eddie would ever let any of the other Loser’s know, but there had been a point in his teenage years where he had felt the way he imagines Stan had. “Stan I...”

Eddie’s phone went off, causing Stan to pull back, putting his hands in his lap as Eddie looked at his phone, and that was when he remembered he had a date. None of his friends knew about it, it was with a guy who asked him out the day before he got the call. He forgot to cancel the date, so he flicks back a quick ‘ _ Sorry, something came up’ _ before pocketing his phone away.

“Who was that?” Stan muses.

“Just... a guy I had a date with, but, I’m comfortable here,” Eddie replies, reaching a hand out to hold Stan’s in his, giving it a small squeeze. Eddie stays until he can’t anymore, he doesn’t want to leave but they were kicking him out but he promises to come in tomorrow.

Together, they were watching a movie, having a lazy weekend in together because all their other friends were off being the cutesy couples that they are, or were working. A bowl of popcorn that they shared sitting between them, with a blanket around them to help keep them warm. It was just so nice, and heart-warming sitting next to Stan as they watched a movie, just the two of them and Eddie would love do whatever he could to bottle it up and never let it go. Watching Stan’s reactions to the film were amazing to Eddie, and he must have been staring too long because Stan turns his attention away from the TV and towards Eddie, “Is there something on my face?”

Stan reaches his hand up to wipe at his cheek, and Eddie finds it so cute and he smiles at Stan who raises an eyebrow slightly, “No, I,” Eddie starts, finding himself leaning in, his eyes glancing down towards Stan’s lips for a brief moment, and then for just a moment, a slither of a second did he think that Stan too was leaning in but he would never know because just at that moment, Richie  bursted into the room, loudly exclaiming that it was cold outside, causing the two to jump a part.

Both were blushing madly, now no longer looking at each other. Stan stands up, picking up his keys, “I guess I should... I should go. Movie is over,” Stan stumbles out, still unable to look at Eddie.

Richie looks between the pair, confused but then something looks like it fell into place in his mind, “ Ooo sorry, I’ll just... I’ll be in my room.” And quickly, Richie flees towards his room.

The keys in Stan’s hand, moving from one hand to the other as he looks at Eddie, “Um, I should,” Stan was stumbling over his words and making a gesture towards the door but he’s not moving, like he doesn’t really want to go, and oh  _ god _ does Eddie really want to kiss him, and to  _ kill _ Richie for ruining what felt like his only chance to feel Stan’s lips against his own.

“You don’t have too,” Eddie replies, “We’ve got plenty of movies, tomorrow is Sunday, you can stay here if you want.”

Walking towards him, Stan drops his keys onto the coffee table and the next thing he does really does surprise Eddie, almost like Stan got this sudden burst of confidence – not that Eddie will be complaining. “Or,” Stan says as he grabs hold of Eddie’s face, leaning in close that Eddie could feel Stan’s breath on his face, “We can do this.”

Stan presses his lips against Eddie’s lips, pulling away slightly after a bit, “I like that,” Eddie says, wide eyed but ends up putting his  hands on Stan’s waist, pulling him close. Stan ends up on Eddie’s lap, with Eddie’s hands on his hips, while Stan’s hands move to hold Eddie’s jaw before moving in and kissing Eddie again.

Eddie melts into the kiss, letting himself get lost in the taste of popcorn that lingered on Stan’s lips as they move against his own. If when Stan rolls his hips, Eddie let out a moan, he feels no shame in it nor in the way he gripped Stan’s hips harder, pulling him more closer.

A wolf whistle caused them to break apart, Stan looking up to glare at Richie as Eddie rests his head on Stan’s shoulder. If he could see Richie, he would be giving a glare of his own. “I would appreciate it if you two don’t  _ fuck _ on the couch. Your room isn’t that far Eds, you horny bastards.”

“Oh my  _ god _ Richie, shut up!” Eddie mumbles into Stan’s shoulder. Richie walks away, and Stan brings Eddie’s face to look at him, and Stan just looks so fucking good. Lips he knows feel so nice against his own, ones he doesn’t want to stop getting the opportunity to kiss. The look in Stan’s eyes, making him feel so loved and he surges forward, unable to help himself.

It was a quick kiss, and he pulls away, pressing another but chaste kiss to Stan’s lips, “I love you. I do, with my whole heart,” In the corner of his eye, he can see Stan’s wrist – the scar that laid there from that attempt those months ago. Letting one of his hands let go off Stan’s hips, his hands gently wrap around the man on his lap’s wrist, he presses a soft kiss to the scar, “All of you.”

“I love you too,” Stan leans in, pressing a kiss to Eddie’s lips, “My whole heart.”

Eddie can’t help the big grin that spread across his lips, and he presses a soft kiss to Stan’s nose, watching in awe as Stan crinkles his nose slightly at the action. “Maybe we should take this to my room.”

“Agreed.”


End file.
